So I am upset. I re-worked a chapter in my story that well to me it really just hit home exactly what I meant to convey the first time and did it in a far better way. Unfortunately, I have now misplaced that file. I managed to get all my other work back in line all the way up to those most recent edits. I look at it and I get frustrated. I get real upset because it was to me a good piece of art and I don’t want to do it again. I don’t know that I can… Sooo I am at a stumbling block.
Which seems to be common in a lot of areas of my life right now. Just like the other areas I can pick up the pieces and push forward, but dang it… I am tired of doing that. I want it the right way.
I am just going to put everything on hold. Either I am meant for certain things or I am not. A path that is peaceful and attractive will become known to me or I’ll stay put until one does.
Sometimes, just sometimes when you have expended so much, you have to dig your heels in and say “Hell no I won’t go” and that is where I am.
I have so many beautiful things rattling in my mind but they will stay mine until I get what I want.
Stubborn, selfish, yeah, but if I won’t be for me, then who will?
I’ve looked all my normal places for my drive that had this one small piece of data and I can’t find it. Since my accident so many things get foggy so fast. They say I have no permanent damage so whatever my issue is must be, it’s all dancing around in my head. So until I find the key to get on track and get this project and other areas where I want them…
I am done.
Not one more step in any direction, backwards, forwards, up, down, or temporal.
-Static MagickStatic Magick
aka Soulbound Heart