Depression is a tough fight.
It’s been a rough year.
Though I know everyone has their own trials and tribulations, depression has a way of making your own feel and seem worse.
Over the last couple years I’ve been injured at work, fought a legal battle for basic health services over it, won said battle only to find that meh… victory is hollow when you expect the government to force themselves to do something.
I’ve seen heart ache and pain for my family.
Deal with family that is ill in ways that most cannot comprehend.
Somehow thanks to Grace, I get up each morning, shake off the darkness and continue to put one foot in front of the other.
It gets harder in phases and easier in some.
Right now it’s hard.
It’s hard because no matter how much I say, do, plan, etc. I cannot seem to affect enough change to make things good.
So I hear those shadow speak.
I feel like nothing I can do can help, nothing I do does help.
Nothing I plan goes right.
All my calculations on all the possible outcomes are horribly wrong.
Then I am reminded like this morning. When one of my angles leaves me a gift. I woke up to a small simple gift. It made me smile and I am reminded exactly why each morning I pick up each foot and move forward despite the results despite the failures.
I am reminded that it’s not my plan, nor my game I am piece in.
I am just flowing with the will of the great creator.
I have to rebuke the shadows and remember the light keeping me warm in my heart.
aka Soulbound Heart