Praise God, the Grand Architect of the Universe and Reality!
I am going through what has to be rock bottom of my life, the end of one professional career, and many tribulations. It is always humbling when we go through these events as you are reminded of who truly loves and cares for you and who has been there as an ornament in life.
I have a very small group of friends that are really what family should be. They reach out to me when they sense my depression and anxiety taking over and they patiently await for me to reach out of the darkness back. I am thankfully for them. One is my eldest brother, who preaches the truth every time we talk, everyone needs someone like that even if they don’t want to hear it at times. Another is a long time male friend who has been there for me as I him through thick and thin. We’ve seen each other when we both have had nothing and when we both could rejoice in the fruits of our hard labor. I consider him a friend and what a brother should be. One is a dear friend whom also stretches back to high school. We don’t get to catch up as often now days but we know each other is there if we need them. Another goes back to the time of high school and we share a deep connection as well, seeing life through its rough time and good. The sad part is out of all the new friends I’ve made here in my new home over the last three years it’s the newest that has actually turned out to be most like my core. That friend has done the same and reached out to me. However, every single other friend I’ve made here in this place, I’ve had to reach out to them. Even then most of the ignore me. I assume it is because they are afraid of a common threat we share, but the depression, and the anxiety tell me that there was never true friendship there. Why? True friends unite and stand next to each other and support each other no matter the cause. Your true friends are so aligned with your life and interests that there is no need to second guess repercussions because one always has your back. Just like they know you would have theirs.
I am fighting the good fight though. Trying to find ways to keep my home, keep food on the table, keep the darkness at bay so I can sale myself again to some other fiat money supplier.
Though my teachings and readings have always told me:
1) Ask and it will be given to you
2) Seek and you will find
3) Knock and the door will be opened to you
I ask for righteous path to provide for my family, friends and loved ones so that our needs are meet, and we can move forward in life as intended.
I seek the provisions of knowledge, wisdom, fortitude, and finance to provide for a clear traversal of the path I ask.
I knock on the door of the universe, calling out to the almighty God, Holy Spirit, and all the surrounds me in love. Fill me with peace, determination, and guide me with love through this door of success to a place where I can happily provide for my family, friends, and loved ones.
I speak to those who struggle with depression and anxiety and other mood issues, you’re not alone. Despite the despair, and the darkness, you’re not alone. There is light in this world, you just have to fight harder than others so that you enjoy it far more than others. We are cursed and blessed at the same time. We can find joy and happiness where others are lost on the minutia of life. There we see the giant miracles and rejoice in them. So I say to you, fight. And seek the truth and light that brings you happiness and joy.
aka Soulbound Heart